Chain of Gold by Cassandra Clare - Book Review (There will be spoilers!)

Chain of Gold by Cassandra Clare
Publication date: March 3, 2020
My rating: 3 stars

No one ever mentioned things like accidentally kneeling on a dead bird while waiting for a demon to turn up.

Okay then. 

*Looking around me helplessly* 

Where should I start? 

I think I started this review a hundred different ways as I was reading Chain of Gold.
This is hard for me people. I'm a sworn Cassie Clare fan here, I live and breathe the shadowhunters world. If you were to ask me who two of my favorite authors are, I would promptly say Cassandra Clare and Rick Riordan. 

And yet. Just last year, for the very first time, I rated 3 stars to a Rick Riordan book. And now this. 

So you see why rating a shadowhunters book any lower than 4 stars is so SO hard for me. SO HARD. 

*Sigh* 

Will sat down beside his wife and pulled her into his lap. “I am going to kiss your mother now,” he announced. “Flee if you will, children. If not, we could play Ludo when the romance is over.”

Cassandra Clare has always told her stories from a third person with switching POVs, but for some reason it all felt very very loose here. 

I could not get a grasp on any of the characters, they all slipped away from me and never leaped out of the pages of the book. At times, POVs would switch in the same chapter, leaving the other one on a "cliffhanger" which ruined some of the progression of the story for me, especially when I was just starting to get into the POV it was told from. There also seemed to be a lot of telling and not showing, like how James was supposedly the leader that held them all together, and I know logically they've been best of friends since they were all children but I wasn't there with them during all those times and I felt like just explaining to us how best of friends they were wasn't enough. 

Or like how Lucie and Cordelia were supposedly best friends but they didn't actually spend any time alone together in the story...? And even when they were together I just could not feel the talked about the sisterly bond between them, it was like they were new friends but not the so called future parabatai type of friends everyone was talking about.

Wasn’t that what power was, the ability to risk angering people? What was the point of being a female Consul if you still had to fret about keeping people happy?

The characters' thoughts and feelings did not come across to me. At all. 

I honestly felt like there was an invisible wall between me and the characters, almost as if Grace herself put a bracelet on us the readers and we were all under The Mask so we could not think or see clearly. 

It all just felt kind of... mechanical? Like this happened, and then this happened, and that happened, and all the while I was thinking "But what are the characters feeling or thinking about this or that happening?". There were times when someone said something very shocking to another character, and we were told the character was shaken or the character sits down heavily, but I never FELT any of it from them. 

I know this is Cassandra Clare's writing style, but it all felt to way more extreme than how I remembered it. Heck, maybe I'm remembering wrong, but I don't remember being bothered by stuff like that in the last two Cassie books I've read. 

To me, the most important part is connecting with the characters, and no one clicked with me in Chain of Gold. Especially the main characters, so this was just tragic.
There were quite a few side characters I was interested in, but they didn't really have time to shine so It never went from "Aw, you seem interesting" to "I love you!", but hey I take what I can get. These side characters were: Alistair, Christopher, Matthew, Anna & Ariadne (they both have a scene at the very end that suddenly jump started my interest in these two, both individually and together), and of course Jess (who can resist a broody handsome Blackthorn ghost?) 

Lucie frowned. “You are a ghost, but not like any other ghost. Even my father and brother can’t see you. It’s so odd. Are you buried?”  “It’s very forward to ask a gentleman if he’s buried,” said Jesse.

It's important to mention it took me like 30% of the book to understand who is related to who, who is whose friend/sister/brother/cousin/fiance/enemy... I was just SO confused for a long time, and I do not usually get very confused, so that says a lot. 
I mean, I literally read every single shadowhunter book out there - including the short story collections - and I was still confused.
The only Shadowhunter thing I haven't read is the flash fiction Cassie posted each month, because I forgot to keep track of that. 

I also felt like I was cheated out of who I thought James was from what we saw of him in the short stories - like in the Magnus Bane short stories and Tales of the Shadowhunter Academy - compared to how he was in Chain of Gold.
The James I thought I knew and loved was not the James I saw in front of me, and it had nothing to do with Grace.
I thought James was this tortured shy book nerd, struggling with his dark powers.
Instead, we have an outgoing and charismatic James who is more tortured by Grace than he is by his dark powers (okay, he wasn't Matthew level of outgoing, but he definitely wasn't the boy I thought I knew from the short stories). I remember absolutely adoring him in Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy, so I was really sad not feeling the same way about him in Chain of Gold. 

I know people change over the years, but I didn't expect him to be completely different from what I remembered. 

“Last time I saw you, you were facedown in the Serpentine,” Magnus said cheerfully. “Now you’re fiddling with a Pyxis. I see you have decided to follow in the long Herondale tradition of poor decision-making.” “So have I!” said Lucie, determined not to be left out.

The highlights of the book, for me, was the sister-brother relationship between Cordelia and Alistair. I just loved to see their development, and I want to see even more of it in next books. And of course MAGNUS BANE. Magnus Bane always makes everything better! Seriously, I was so happy when he finally made an appearance in the book. Though I was disappointed it was pretty late into the book and he only showed up like, briefly, and for 3 times or so. 

Still! Magus Bane! Not to mention, it was heavily hinted he would be a bigger part of the next book in the trilogy, so I'm so happy about that! 

Out of the main POVs, I would say Lucie's was probably my favorite, as I really enjoyed seeing the glimpses we saw of her abilities, not to mention I was really intrigued with Jess, though again disappointed he wasn't in the book enough. Jess is definitely playing a big part of things though, and I'm sure we'll see more of him in the future. There is also the whole "Will he and Lucie get romantically involved?" question. I honestly saw no signs of romance between them - as much as I was hoping to! - though they do seem to trust each other and Lucie is determined to help him so that's sweet and might be the base of their relationship for the future. 

I do think it would make sense of him and her to be together eventually. I mean the book literally started with her meeting Jess as a 10 year old, so I have high hopes for that! 

Then again we also have Matthew, because of course we need to have a tortured love mess thing going on 😂😭 Matthew seems to have feelings for Cordelia, which I find super weird because didn't he supposedly have feelings for Lucie? He and Lucie even shared 2 "intimate" scenes that seemed to hint on this. Though Lucie strictly told James she has no feelings for Matthew and the story seems to be rooting for her and Jess. But then again, it's quite obvious Cordelia and James are meant to be together, but Grace's magic is... Woah woah, I gotta stop here, thinking about the love triangles who are all intertwined with each other is SO MESSY 😂 

I remember feeling that way after finishing Lady Midnight, so I'm going to take a deep breath and know that at least some of it is going to be solved in Chain of Iron. 

He was gazing at a familiar crack in the ceiling that was shaped a bit like a duck. His father would be horrified.

Another point I might add is that maybe I'm just not cut out for historical fiction. Its been forever since I read The Infernal Devices so I don't remember how I felt there, but historical fiction tends to annoy me a lot, especially when it comes to descriptive writing (and Cassandra Clare's style is already descriptive without adding historical fiction into the mix) and the treatment of girls at the time. I know, it's historically accurate, but it makes my blood boil! 

Therefore it honestly seemed VERY jarring to me that these girls were allowed to hunt demons but for some reason it was OH SO scandalous if their dress was torn/dirty or if they were left alone in a room with a boy. Not to mention the whole "being ruined" part, like... yes it's historically accurate, but they're shadowhunters, they hunt demons, this girl holds one of the most powerful swords in the world, why are you all whispering about her being alone with a boy...?! Or the "oh no, her dress looks like a mess, but who cares if she almost died by a demon!" 

I also absolutely HATE any form of mind control or love potions forcing you to feel or not feel things towards another. And that's exactly what's happening in Chain of Gold, and so I hated reading from James's POV also because of that situation. 

“I can promise it. I do promise it. I am a Herondale, and we keep our promises.”

Who I thought James was Vs. who he seemed to be in Chain of Gold + the detachment the narration made me feel from the characters + tell and not show regarding character development or character motivation/feelings/thoughts + historical fiction descriptive writing and weird priorities + my pet peeve regarding mind control were the reasons Chain of Gold didn't click with me. 

I just read a 600 pages book and I still can't tell you anything deep about these characters. I can tell you Lucie is a writer, Cordelia is basically her sword, and James is a confused mess for reasons not of his doing, but those are just the facts and not something I've learned through deep and meaningful character development. 

I'll be honest, if this wasn't a Shadowhunter book... if it weren't for all of my love and nostalgia for this world and characters... this may have had a lower rating. 

*crying into the abyss*

Chain of Iron, you must not fail me! 😭 

Ruelle - This is the Hunt

“It is a pity, actually, that no one will ever know how James, Cordelia, and Matthew are heroes for foiling a demonic plan to attack Idris,” said Lucie. “We will always know,” said Thomas, and raised his glass. “To being secret heroes.” “To standing by each other no matter what,” said Matthew, raising his own, and as they all cheered and toasted.

Daughter of the Pirate King by Tricia Levenseller - Book Review

Daughter of the Pirate King by Tricia Levenseller
Publication date: February 28, 2017
My rating: 4 stars

Oh, the ridiculous things one has to do when one is a pirate.

YES YES YES and YES.

My faith has been restored.
Oh sorry, I should probably explain: After reading 5 books in a row that were just really "meh", and DNF a bunch of others, I was starting to get really concerned about my reading life in 2020. Nothing just seemed to work. I tried adult, I tried YA, I tried both fantasy and contemporary, I tried recommendations, nothing worked out.

AND THEN.
Then I read this book, and my faith was restored.

I mean, this book was just so awesome! And what made it so awesome was the protagonist, Alosa. This is the type of brilliance I'm talking about, this is the type of capable protagonist I absolutely LOVE reading about.

Right off the start, I was in awe to Alosa. The girl killed two men without blinking, fearlessly bargained for her crew’s life, and then insisted her wardrobe will have to come with her to the enemy’s ship because she’s a princess and will be treated as such.
Just… WOW. YES GIRL.

Alosa was just. so. good.
And I don't mean morally, the girl hardly has any hardship killing (and she kills a lot), I mean she was such a great pirate.
And while she did come off as a bit apathetic at times, it was still okay because I understood where it was coming from, how she came to be, and it made sense for a character like her to be this way.

I really liked Riden too, and I loved their banter/conversations. While it wasn't as hilarious as I wanted, it was still amusing and made me all giddy and excited. It's obvious Riden has some character development to go through, and I hope I can see that in the next book.

All in all, this was so much fun! Pirates, a protagonist who is both super clever and super strong (both physically and mentally) and yet is still a girl and doesn't have to pretend she's anything other than she is, kidnapping, and romance that I want to see more of in the next book.

Now off I go to read Daughter of the Siren Queen.

The Veronicas - Lolita

"I am me because I choose to be me. I am what I want. Some people say you have to find yourself. Not I. I believe we create ourselves to be what we want." 

Angel's Wolf by Nalini Singh - (Short) Book Review

Angel's Wolf by Nalini Singh (a short Guild Hunter's Novella)
Publication date: December 13, 2012
My rating: 2 stars

“I think you have never been polite and civilized. Stop making the effort—it’s ridiculous.”

Well, this was rather... disappointing.

Now don't get me wrong, I did enjoy reading this as a short story to the Guild Hunter books, and I would recommend it to anyone out there who read all of Nalini Singh's books and is looking for something extra by her to read, just... it didn't really manage to engage my interest. Not like how I usually feel with Nalini's books.

I felt like there was a lot tell not show in this one, the characters not really holding to what is told about them vs. what is shown, not to mention it was rather heavy on the descriptions too, in my opinion. So overall I was rather... bored? It managed to engage me enough to want to finish the story to see how it ends for Noel and Nimra (not to mention for the "mystery" in the story too), but not enough for me to really like it.

That being said, I'm a huge fan of Nalini Singh's books, and I'm basically reading all of the short stories and other books I missed by her as I await her next books in the Psy Changeling/Guilt Hunter worlds ;) 

If you are reading this review and have yet to pick up any of Nalini's books, I highly highly recommend that you do because she's absolutely a fantastic author. I love her books, her characters, and her world so much. 

Not Alone - Abstract (feat. Roze)

"Something about me seems to make women want to want knives." 

Ghost Walk by Cassandra Gannon - Book Review

Ghost Walk by Cassandra Gannon
Publication date: June 12, 2016
My rating: 4 stars

“Why I’d never suggest otherwise.  I was merely thinking I could be your glamorous, occasionally sarcastic, sidekick.  Someone to bounce your brilliant ideas off of.”

This book was soooo wonderful.
I’m in love with Jamie. IN. LOVE.
Kyaaaaa! *Japanese fangirl moment over here*

This book really made me realize how much I love all of these tropes and how little I see them in books.

1) Time Travel. And I’m not talking about the sci-fi type of time travel, but the magical one created by magic, when the protagonist can travel through time.

2) Pirates as love interests because… PIRATES AS LOVE INTERESTS. Just pirates in general though, thank you. I wanna see more piracy!

3) Ghosts! And not the freaky horror kind. Especially if it’s a love story between a human and a ghost. Like… seriously, SO COOL.

4) Accents. Jamie as the best accent ever ahhh! I adore him! 

I’ve basically been binge reading Cassandra Gannon’s books. My favorite of hers so far was the A Kinda Fairy Tail series (especially the first book Wicked Ugly Bad! SO GOOD), but now this is also a fave, I just enjoyed it sooo much. 

He waved a hand around, like all she needed to do was whip out a Sherlock Holmes-sized magnifying glass and shout, “Elementary, my dear Watson!”

I loved Jamie! LOVED HIM. I loved Grace and her character development. I loved all the names the Rivera family has – so cool! I loved ghost Jamie, I loved real Jamie, I loved the time travel, the magic system, I just loved it all! And of course, the best part, the romance. Fantastically done.

I would absolutely love for more books in this world. Even though the author hasn’t indicated she has any plan for ones, I would still hope! There is still so much to tell about the Rivera family. I’m definitely very much intrigued by all the cousins Grace had mentioned in this book.

I also loved the author's note at the end. Listening to how Cassandra had come up with this idea, and the history behind it was fascinating.

This author is amazing with her story weaving skills, the romance, and banter in her books. I cannot wait to read more!

I highly recommend you give her other books a try, starting with A Kinda Fairytale and Not Another Vampire Book.
And if you read Ghost Walker and are looking for more fun books about magical time travel and ghosts (although ghosts aren't a main aspect), please also give Ruby Red by Kierstin Gier a try. 

“If a man is courting you, he should be calling upon your residence,” lectured the moral authority who knew the exact location of the town’s former brothel.

*Spoiler Alert* 

My favorite part had to be the ending, when Jamie could FINALLY beat Robert to death, as we all wanted him to do since the beginning. AHHH, his smile when he rose and did it. I was squealing with happiness like it was a love scene or something 😂 

*End of spoiler*

Now where can I find a Jamie? 

Youngblood - 5 Seconds of Summer

“No one will stop you if you seem confident.  They’ll be too afraid of looking a fool if they question you.  Always act as if you know exactly what you’re doing and you can get away with anything.  T’is the secret of life.”

Serpent & Dove by Shelby Mahurin - Book Review

Serpent & Dove by Shelby Mahrin
Publication date: September 3, 2019
My rating: 4 stars

I shall write this review in the form of a list of the things I liked (and things I didn't like, which is literally only two things, and only my own personal opinion, really, because I LIKED THIS BOOK A LOT).

Things I liked (no spoilers):

I rose and gestured to my small frame. “You really think I could knock two fully grown men unconscious?” My husband’s reply came instantaneously. “Yes.” Under different circumstances, I would’ve been flattered. Now, however, his unwavering faith in my abilities was damnably inconvenient.

• Lou and Reid's dynamics!Despite the seriousness and craziness of the situation they both found themselves in, their dynamics was just so fun from the start. I couldn’t wait for those two complete opposites to finally fall in love. And when they did it was just... 🧡

“Why are you dressed like a man?” “Have you ever worn a corset?” I spun around to face him, reattaching my mustache with as much dignity as I could muster. “I doubt you’d ask such a question if you had. Trousers are infinitely more freeing.”

• How Lou is just unapologetically herself. Granted, I was sympathizing with Reid when she was cursing because much like Reid I'm also a prude 😂 but Lou just had such a vibrant personality and she never tried to make herself different for anyone's sake. I loved that about her. And I loved her.

• Reid. I love Reid too. Aside from a very annoying thing he did, but we'll get to that in the things I didn't like. Aside from that though, I loved Reid! I related to his prudish personality a lot, and I think the author definitely managed to sell me on the whole "serious and stoic" love interest. Who needs a bad boy when you can have a Reid who will honor and protect you forever? 

• STICKY BUNS 🧡 I am not usually the type to be taunted with foods in books (even though I LOVE food and especially sweets), BUT OMG was I taunted here! I want a sticky bun, the author found my weakness! 

• At one point during all those revelations at the end, my heart was beating out of my chest and I literally had to put the book aside to compose myself. 

• Lou and Reid together are just so precious and I want SO MUCH MORE of them in the next book. 

Things I liked (with spoilers):

• The gang! I just loved our gang at the end, their dynamics was such fun. I'll be so sad if they part ways in the next book because I just love all of them together - Lou, Reid, Ansel, Coco, Madam Labelle, Beau (yep, Beau was a surprise because I didn't think I'll like him but now I really like him!)

• Madam Labelle being Reid's mother - so cool! I liked that he started caring for her in the end, and I hope to see him come to care for her more. I know they have a long way to go, but I hope they do because it would be so precious. I was so scared at the end there when it looked like she died, and PHEW that she didn't!

• Reid killing the Archbishop. Okay, so I didn't want the Archbishop to die at the end. Granted, I wanted to punch him in the face repeatedly in the beginning, but after we found out he was Lou's father it was just... O_O . But wow wow wow wow, Reid killing him to save Lou's life SO DARK and also HECK YES at the same time? I don't even know, but I'm just glad Reid is willing to do anything to save Lou. Love it.

• Which brings us to, Reid is a witch! He wasn't just born to a witch, he can do actual magic!We still don't know how it works - can he really do it all the time? Was it just a one time thing because Lou almost died and so he almost died too? Is it something that awakened in him in those moments of darkness? I personally hope it's something he'll still be able to do in the next book and not just a one time thing!

And my wife—the fucking love of my life—was the daughter of La Dame des Sorcières. The heiress of Chateau le Blanc. The goddamned princess of the witches. 

• Reid cursing like 3 times at the end of the book 😂 Never thought I would be so delighted by a character cursing, but boy this was good.

Lou glared at him. “I like you, Ansel, but this had better be something good. Emilie and Alexandre just had a moment, and I swear if they don’t kiss soon, I will literally die.”

• Lou reading that book about those two lovers from warring countries! Loved it! And how it was like a nod to us readers to our own fangirling situation with Reid and Lou. 

Things I didn't like (with spoilers): 

There are only really two things that I had personal issues with.

• The whole "past love interest" trope. And yeah, I'm talking about Celie and Reid. I mean, it's not that I don't understand what Reid found in her. It makes sense that he would fall in love with someone like Celie, especially since they've known each other since they were children. But it just made the whole "falling in love with Lou" a bit less realistic when he was technically still in love with Celie in the beginning of the book. It is a bit jarring that he could just move from his so called love to Celie and right to Lou. Don't get me wrong, I'M SO HAPPY he fell for Lou, the love of his life, so I'm assuming when he said he loved Celie, he did love her, but he probably wasn't in love with her for some time now. But in general, yeah, I always had trouble with the past love interest trope, when one of the protagonists is still half in love with said past love.

I loved her. Despite everything. Despite the lies, the betrayal, the hurt. Despite the Archbishop and Morgane le Blanc. Despite my own brothers. I don't know if she returned that love, and I didn't care. If she was destined to burn in Hell, I would burn with her.

• Reid rejecting Lou when he found out she was a witch. Haha... yep, that moment. I nearly threw the book aside when Lou was just about to tell him she's a witch in their room and they were interrupted in a classic interruption scene just when someone is about to reveal something really important 😂 I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but I just knew then and there Reid was going to find out Lou is a witch in the wrong way. And yep, he did. And yep, he BROKE HER HEART. AND I WAS SO MAD. SO MAD I TELL YOU. I understand. I understand Reid was practically brainwashed since he was born. You can't just erase brainwashing of years and year, DOESN'T MEAN I STILL CAN'T BE MAD THOUGH.I am glad, however, that he apologized at the end. That he even cried and blamed himself. At the very least he's repenting about it. So I'm glad. 

In conclusion (with spoilers): 

What will happen now! Our gang is so not our of the woods yet. If anything, they're in even deeper woods. Madam Labelle and Beau are said to go talk to the king, persuade him not to act rashly. As for Lou, Reid, Aansel and Coco, they must seek sanctuary with Coco's aunt, now that they're all fugitives. Everyone would want Lou dead, especially her mother - who is still alive and probably the biggest threat - and everyone saw Reid kill the Archbishop, so he's wanted too. And Ansel, of course, who aided them both. Not to mention Coco, who also aided and is known as a witch. 

How will Reid deal with the PTSD he probably just got from killing the Archbishop, finding out the love of his life his a witch, he's the son of a witch and probably has magic too, and his wife is still threatened by practically everyone?

Now I really want to read Blood & Honey. 

Fun times ahead, people ;) 

Falling to Pieces - Junior Doctor

Besides—didn’t all men share some sort of unspoken camaraderie? A mutual understanding of their own collective importance? 

The Burning Maze by Rick Riordan - Book Review

The Burning Maze by Rick Riordan

Publication date: May 1, 2018
My rating: 3 stars

NO. I refuse to share this part of my story. It was the lowest, most humiliating, most awful week in my four-thousand-plus years of life. Tragedy. Disaster. Heartbreak. I will not tell you about it. Why are you still here? Go away! 

It took me way too long to read The Burning Maze.

The reason? Back in the day when it came out, I read about 25% of it... when I was spoiled about something major happening. I was so shocked, I literally dropped the book and didn’t pick it up more than a year later.

I’m honestly a little ashamed of myself considering my fan status of Rick Riordan. I mean I literally grew up on these books.

Still, maybe it’s also actually a good thing I waited until the 4^th book was out? That way I could binge read it.

But anyway, since this is the 3^rd book in the series, there are obviously going to be MAJOR spoilers below. If you haven’t read these books yet, what are you doing, go read them.

And if you haven’t read any of the Percy Jackson books yet (although I highly doubt you would be here, reading this review, if you hadn't), I highly recommend you start with The Lightning Thief. Go now, shoo, let me freak out about this book.
Because, boy, am I going to freak out. 

*Spoilers from now on* 

I’m so sad right now people. SO SAD.

And yes, this is the thing I was spoiled about before I finished reading the book – well technically it’s two things if you think about it.

Piper and Jason breaking up, and Jason FREAKING DYING.

*sobbing into eternity* 

Jason and Piper were the kind of characters that I didn't immediately scream "omg, favorite!" Unlike with my instant love to characters like Percy, Leo, Nico... Piper and Jason took a bit more time to grow on me during their adventures in Heroes of Olympus. And that's okay! Because when we left them, Piper and Jason were in a good place, beginning their search for their lost friend, Leo. 

But then we pick up where we left them and Piper and Jason are not in a good place. Piper and Jason are broken up. But Piper and Jason are also so much more awesome than I remembered? They've grown up so much (mentally, if not physically), they're awesome, they're heroic, they're wonderful.
I didn't even realize it, stupidly, before... how much I love them. Together and apart. 

In the previous books, I was so busy being in love with the rest of the gang that I completely neglected Piper and Jason.
And now...
And NOW. 

Jason took me by the shoulders—not out of anger, or in a clinging way, but as a brother. “Promise me one thing. Whatever happens, when you get back to Olympus, when you’re a god again, remember. Remember what it’s like to be human.” 

I just about nearly sobbed when I read that.  

MY HEART IS SO BROKEN, I CAN'T EVEN. 

I really admired Piper in this one. She was just so freaking mentally strong. And I loved how she was acting like this big sister to Meg at times.

It was just so jarring to hear that she and Jason broke up considering, as Grover almost said, that we always thought they would be like like Percy and Annabeth. Thinking about these heroes, that got together when you yourself were 16, as you were reading about them excitedly, after purchasing the next book in the series from the bookstore, and now you’re 21 and they’re broken up… it just makes me sad.

It’s logical, I suppose, considering Piper and Jason's fake history, considering what Piper told Apollo about her wanting to find herself. BUT WHO CARES ABOUT LOGIC when all I wanted was for them to be happy together. 

But that’s not the saddest thing. Nope. I could still hold out to hope that these two will be happy – whether it’s together or apart – UNTIL JASON SACRIFICED HIMSELF AND WAS STABBED TWO TIMES THROUGH THE HEART. 

“I can’t even…” Jason sat heavily on his bed. “I don’t know whether to laugh or yell.” “Don’t limit yourself,” grumbled Piper. “Do both.” 

I mean, yeah... why limit myself when I can yell and cry 😭 

It’s like Rick Riordan thought “You know what, since I didn’t kill anyone major in The Blood of Olympus, let’s like, kill one of them now, right? RIGHT?” 

NO. 

It’s even worse killing Jason now that it would have been in The Blood of Olympus because we spent 6 books with Jason, we got used to the idea of Jason, we thought Jason was SAFE, and now what? Now we cry. And wonder if Rick will kill anyone else. 

He probably won’t. Thinking about Rick Riordan’s style, he doesn’t go overboard with character kills, so I’m thinking most of them are probably safe, at least the other main ones. 

Now before I start sobbing again thinking about Piper's reaction when they... with Jason... *taking a deep breath*, I should talk a bit about the protagonist of this book, Apollo. 

“Let my friends go,” I said. “All of them. Then you can have me.” The emperor’s eyes gleamed like a strix’s. “And if I don’t?” I summoned my courage, and issued a threat I never could have imagined in my previous four thousand years of life. “I’ll kill myself.”

One of my favorite moments, was when Apollo and the gang were being held hostage by Caligula – right before… right before Jason… - and Apollo was SO ANGRY about his hurt friends, and then he realized that the only way to save them was to threaten his own life… It was just so beautiful?

Such an amazing character development. Apollo really is evolving. He’s not the same guy he was in book 1. After that, he literally risked himself 2 more times just to save his friends. And I honestly cannot wait to see what happens next. I mean, Apollo will quite probably return to godhood but… how will it change him? How would his promise to Jason… Jason Grace, will change him? 

I felt sad when Piper was blaming Apollo, especially since they almost bonded at some point. I mean, I understand, I really do. Even though it’s not Apollo’s fault, it was his quest, he was the one who asked for their help. He’s not at fault,  especially considering Jason literally told everyone about the prophecy of either him or Piper dying if they try to go after Caligula, but I can see how Piper, in her situation, could blame him. It’s just so sad though. My heart. I can’t. 

As the former praetor and the emperor charged past each other, Jason met my eyes across the ruined throne room. His expression told me his plan with perfect clarity. Like me, he had decided that Piper McLean would not die tonight. For some reason, he had decided that I must live too. He yelled again, “GO! Remember!”

Jason sacrificed himself for this friends to get away, but… at the end of the day, he did it for Piper. He did it so Piper wouldn’t die, so Piper would get away, and this breaks my heart and I’m going to cry. 

His last words to Piper and Apollo "GO! Remember!" before he told his horse to get them to safety just about killed me. It also really threw me back to the 11th Doctor and Clara (Oswin) Oswald (Run, you clever boy. And remember). Which honestly just made me sadder. 

Piper shook him and sobbed, “JASON!” Her voice echoed from the cliffs. 

I literally had to hold my tears back when they found Jason on the shore and Piper was screaming his name and begging for Apollo, and when Piper's dad showed up and hugged his daughter... 😭 I would have probably sobbed if I was alone at the time, but since I wasn't I looked like I had something in my eye with how much blinking I was doing. It was hard enough to try to keep the tears at bay. 

And then later, when Leo came along, I had tears in my eyes and I'm just... when he asked where's Jason... and Piper broke down in his arms... someone please hold me.

“One good stab in the back deserves another.” Piper kissed Medea on the cheek. “I’d tell you to say hello to Jason for me, but he’ll be in Elysium. You…won’t.”  

Piper killing Medea was EPIC. So no maybe she didn’t get to kill Jason’s actual murderer yet, but killing the person who assisted in this, Piper’s nemesis, sure is retribution.

I also kind of felt Apollo wasn’t sad ENOUGH about Jason, though? I mean don’t get me wrong, he was obviously sad and guilty, but by the way he reacted to Crest’s death, whom he knew even for less time than Jason, it kind of felt his reaction to Jason’s death lacked? I dono. I mean, Apollo and Jason are technically half brothers, they’re bonded to a promise, I just thought Apollo would express… more. But that’s just me. 

Jason sighed miserably. “That’s supposed to be my job. I’m always the one who gets knocked in the head. Sorry, guys. Things didn’t exactly go as planned.”

(Because we also need to remember the fun times with Jason) 

We're definitely not done with this heartbreak though, huh?
Book 4 should pick right up where book 3 left, which means Meg and Apollo are delivering Jason to the Roman camp. Which means... which means breaking the hearts of the rest of the gang. 

We already know Annabeth's and Percy's reaction from the end of Ship of the Dead (Magnus Chase) - although I do wish to see/hear Percy's actual reaction, as we only heard Annabeth, crying. 

We also know Piper and Leo's reaction... 

Now it's time to deliver the news to the rest of the people who care about Jason - Reyna (who was once in love with him), Frank (his comrade), Hazel (his comrade and friend), Thalia (his sister)... I can't even. 

Onto The Tyrant's Tomb now...
See you there. 

What I wanted Jason and Piper to end as:
Unstoppable - Alex Goot

What they actually sort of ended up us (hard to find an exact song these days):
The Meterial - I'd be Lying 

Also this one because why not, I'm feeling sad and musicy:
Deltarune - Legend (Tudd Chillwave Remix)

“I’m Jason Grace,” he said. “Former praetor of the Twelfth Legion. Son of Jupiter. Child of Rome. But I belong to both camps.” 

 I would be Apollo. I would remember. 

Ghosts of the Shadow Market by Cassandra Clare - Book Review

Ghosts of the Shadow Market by Cassandra Clare
Publication date: June 4, 2019
My rating: 4 stars

 “Kit straightened up. “Nope, I’m good. Come on Brother Hauntingly Attractive.” “There’s no need to mention this to Tessa.” “And Yet,” said Kit, “I’m gonna.”  

The problem about reading a Cassandra Clare book... you immediately want another one.

While this was probably my least favorite of the short stories collection - The Bane Chronicles and Tales of the Shadowhunter Academy - it was still an epic read, and I could not put this book down after hitting the halfway mark.

I think the reason I liked it less was only due to a few of the short stories that just didn't really... appeal to me? But the short stories about Alec and Kit and Jace... AHH, my heart! And I also really appreciated all the background information we got on certain characters. It really adds depth and also really sets us up to The Wicked Powers trilogy (as well as for The Last Hours trilogy). 

*Spoilers from now on (note the end of spoilers below)*

"A love the cannot be requited. I can think of nothing more painful than that."  

I felt really bad for Jace's biological mother, Celine. It's really so sad that Jace never got to know her, that she never got to love her son. The poor girl has been abused and ignored her whole life and it just made me to angry and sad to hear. I don't even think anyone, aside from Valentine, knew what her parents did to her. Maybe the ones from her institute, but they were as evil as her parents.

Celine just wanted to be loved, she wanted to belong. And it was so painful to read how she fell to Valentine's trap.

I'm also angry about Jace's biological father, though? He obviously had the Herondale charms, but it didn't impress me because if you think about it, he chose to leave Amatis for Celine, and yet he still yearned for Amatis, never really loving Celine fully. No one forced him to leave Amatis, no one charmed him to do to. It really just made me angry, because if he truly wanted to be with Amatis he would have found a way, and instead he threw her aside, went to Celine, and didn't even love her truly. 

"I'm basically twelve," continued Alec, who was totally eleven. 

I'm so sad for Thule Jace 😭 Can't get used to his new name yet. I know I know, Thule Jace is the villain, he will obviously eventually be killed, probably either by the "good guys" or him sacrificing himself, realizing it's his only way at peace and redemption.

But I'm just so sad for him. Because at the end of the day, he is Jace. Yes, not the Jace we all know and love. He's a dark Jace, who kills mercilessly and is honestly scary and evil, but... Jace :( He literally went through HELL and he just wants Clary and it's so sad.

I also just need Clary and Jace to get married though! Honestly, get married already! And have children! If it is as it usually is, there is a wedding at every ending of Cassandra's books, so we'll probably get the Jace and Clary wedding at the end of The Wicked Powers?

They trained together at the London Institute and took lessons together in various schoolrooms, and Lavinia Whitelaw had referred to them as “that notorious bunch of hooligan boys.” Matthew and James had called themselves Shadowhooligans for some time after that remark. 

Can we talk about Lily Chen for a second? My heart hurts for her. I love her, I love Raphael, I want them together. *sob-sob*. Part of me is screaming at her "What are you doing?! Don't trust Thule Jace!" While the other part of me is "Yes yes yes yes, bring the other Raphael here! We need our Raphael again!"

How precious is Kit, Jem, Tessa, and Mina though? THAT FAMILY. I just wanted to read so much more of them together. Mina is SO CUTE, and I want Kit to be even more cute with her. They're already so cute! I loved that scene when he went to her room and held her up trying to get her to sleep. Precious.

*End of spoilers* 

I do not have to be only one thing, Anna thought. I can choose what suits me when it suits me. The trousers and jacket do not make me a man, and the necklace does not make me a woman. They are only what makes me feel beautiful and powerful in this moment. I am exactly as I choose to be. I am a Shadowhunter who wears gorgeous suits and a legendary pendant. 

I realized something about myself as I was reading. Well, it was something I already knew about myself but realized it even more now, that I really don't enjoy descriptions. Of places, or people. The bare minimum is enough to satisfy me. I'm much more dialogue/thoughts oriented. And Cassandra Clare's writing could be very descriptive at times.

So yeah, while I did fell it was rather slow-paced due mainly to my lack of interest in some of the stories, I did think it was amazing and deep and just... I love everything Cassandra Clare writes, she's my queen of fantasy, and I love the Shadowhunter world. Thinking that we only have 8 more books honestly makes me HORRIFIED. I cannot wait for The Wicked Powers - but as long as we're going to have The Last Hours and The Eldest Curses I'm happy even if I have to wait forever until my Kit and Ty. 

Fight Like a Girl - Zolita

"Anyone who says women are weak is afraid they're too strong."